Bernard Shaw - ROUGH NIGHTS

ROUGH NIGHTS

Now do you think that this is right,
I have to get up in the middle of the night.
There is no reason why I shouldn't.
But my poor wife, wishes that I wouldn't.
Now what do you think that I should do.
Should I come and talk to you.
I once talked things over with the Sand Man.
If he can't help me, then who can.
There are many things to discuss with you,
Such as why my Pyjamas are not new.
Or we could talk about my pillow case,
And the reason why it frames my face.
Now about my sheets so gleaming white.
Must they crumple at my sight.
Then of course there is the bed.
Never a tear for me it's shed.
And on the floor the chamber pot.
Should I use it, should I not.
As you may see, I have problems galore.
The Wife is blessed with a very loud snore.
Its enough you know to make me weep,
How can she have such a wonderful sleep?
I must get up, I'm fully awake,
I think I'll go and have some cake.
I might even make a cup of tea,
And wake the wife to share it with me.
My life at night is never a bore,
Not with the Wife's very loud snore.
So just bear with me for tonight,
As the Wife snores with all her might.