Bernard Shaw - FARMER GILES

FARMER GILES

I went to visit Old Farmer Giles,
I crossed most fields by way of stiles.
In some were Cows in others Sheep,
Most were grazing, some asleep.
Then I came to a five barred gate,
Now I really had to wait.
For in this field was big old Bull,
It took a long time till his belly was full.
Over a ditch and through a hedge,
Where a couple of Horses pulled a sledge.
On to the road that passes the mill,
The rest of the way went down hill.
Along the common by the old Oak,
Past the pond where the Frogs do croak.
I must have walked at least five miles,
And I still haven't come to Farmer Giles.
Perhaps he lives behind that group of trees,
So on I plod with wobbly knees.
At long last I come to a Farm,
With Pig stalls and a very large Barn.
Boldly I walked up to the front door,
Out came a man that looked rather sore.
Good Morning I said, Are you Farmer Giles?
No! I'm the Doctor, The Farmer has got Piles.
So I opened the door and went on in,
The Farmers Wife was tall and thin.
What you've come all this way to see Farmer Giles,
And him lying in bed a nursing his piles.
Come back tomorrow, when he's up and about,
So I bid her, Good Day and went on out.
On the way home it poured down with rain,
Come back tomorrow, I wont bother again.
You see I don't know Old Farmer Giles,
Going to see him was just one of my wile's.

Bernard Shaw - CUPIDS BOW

CUPIDS BOW

It was cupids arrow from his bow,
A fatal shot as I well know.
With aim so true, he could not miss,
Now all I want is for you to kiss.
To hold you in my arms so tight,
To cuddle you with all my might.
My feelings for you I cannot hide,
I want and need you by my side.
Hand in hand along life's way,
Wandering through each lovely day.
Don't worry about people, let them stare,
They say that you are only a teddy bear.
But to me at the age of four,
I'll always love you that's for sure.
So come sweet Teddy, come to my arms,
For I just cannot resist your charms.
And in my arms as I go to sleep
I'll thank CUPID for his wound so deep.

Bernard Shaw - HOUSE OF LOVE

HOUSE OF LOVE

A house built on foundations of rock,
That will last a thousand years.
It shall withstand the hardest knock,
And keep away all fears.

Such a house we will build together, you and I.
No other abode we'll need.
Towering high up into the sky,
A fortress of loving care indeed.

Each room filled with warmth of love.
Our hearts beat true to heaven's time.
Blessed by that great presence high above,
These walls shall know no crime.

Bernard Shaw - STAR SO BRIGHT

STAR SO BRIGHT

What Star is that so shining bright.
Lighting up this blessed night.
Shepherds watchful without sleep,
Tending flocks of restless sheep.

A guiding omen, Heavens sign,
Pointing to that child divine.
Earthly Kings are on their way,
To greet the new-born on this day.

Costly presents gifts of love,
For that Baby from above.
A signal of mankind's great needs,
Gods own sweet son us to lead.

Mary's child in poverty born,
Riches in this life to scorn.
Come to lead us to the light,
On that wondrous Angelic night.

Bernard Shaw - CLOCK

CLOCK

There are twelve numbers on the face of my clock,
I know that it's happy for it goes tick tock.
It has two hands, one large, one quite small,
They go round and round as it hangs on the wall,
I think you know that they are playing a game,
Each time that I look, it is always the same.
They chase each other day after day,
Around they go from June until May.
What are they doing to tell the time?
Copying one another with hands that mime.
As they pass each number they seem to say,
Please don't hinder me, I'm still on my way.
The large hand says it's really not fair,
I seem to be doing more than my share.
The little hand laughs and said what fun,
I love seeing you go past always on the run.
Some people you know don't like my old clock,
But it keeps me happy, as it goes TICK TOCK.

Bernard Shaw - TABLETS AND LOTIONS

TABLETS AND LOTIONS

I've got Pills and Tablets, Lotions and Potions,
Some are used to calm the emotions.
The colours are lovely, All beautiful and bright,
I take a few in the morning others at night.
There are Red and Yellow, Green and Blue,
I've got so many, I could give some to you.
The ones I take to make me sleep,
Make my pupils small and deep.
Some you know are for my head,
After taking these I wish I was dead.
Then I have some just for my nerves,
These make straight lines look like curves.
The one's I like the best of all,
Make all of my problems seem so small.
The tiny Green ones are not too bad,
If only they didn't make me feel so sad.
I'm pleased I don't work in a Chemists shop,
For I think that my Tummy would go off pop.
Now if you will take some advice from me,
Don't take tablets, Drink a cup of TEA.

Bernard Shaw - MY CLOTHES ETCETERA

MY CLOTHES ETCETERA

I looked in my wardrobe the other day.
I wanted to hear what my clothes had to say.
My best blue suit, the one with the stripes.
Said, 'Hop it you, you give me the gripes.'
My overcoat, I only bought it last Spring,
Said, 'Leave me in peace, You stupid thing.'
You should have heard what my blue jeans said,
'Don't wake us up we just gone to bed.'
I next looked to see if my trousers were in place.
They cried out, 'Hey you go and wash your face.'
Next I inspected my chest of drawers.
Where my underwear is laid out in sets of fours.
Four pants, four vests and four shirts,
Said don't iron us again, it burns and that hurts.
I'm not going to my wardrobe again,
I'll go abroad, perhaps to Spain.
There I'll buy me some new clothes.
You can have the others, I've finished with those.

Bernard Shaw - ROUGH NIGHTS

ROUGH NIGHTS

Now do you think that this is right,
I have to get up in the middle of the night.
There is no reason why I shouldn't.
But my poor wife, wishes that I wouldn't.
Now what do you think that I should do.
Should I come and talk to you.
I once talked things over with the Sand Man.
If he can't help me, then who can.
There are many things to discuss with you,
Such as why my Pyjamas are not new.
Or we could talk about my pillow case,
And the reason why it frames my face.
Now about my sheets so gleaming white.
Must they crumple at my sight.
Then of course there is the bed.
Never a tear for me it's shed.
And on the floor the chamber pot.
Should I use it, should I not.
As you may see, I have problems galore.
The Wife is blessed with a very loud snore.
Its enough you know to make me weep,
How can she have such a wonderful sleep?
I must get up, I'm fully awake,
I think I'll go and have some cake.
I might even make a cup of tea,
And wake the wife to share it with me.
My life at night is never a bore,
Not with the Wife's very loud snore.
So just bear with me for tonight,
As the Wife snores with all her might.

Bernard Shaw - MY FRONT ROOM

MY FRONT ROOM

There's been a battle in my front room.
The shovel fought against the broom.
You should have heard my old arm chair.
It said, 'Go on Lads, I don't care.'
A picture of Lord Kitchener upon the wall,
'Let out a hearty rallying call,'
Your country needs you, That's the stuff.
The Aspidistra said, 'She'd had enough.'
The Sofa cried with piercing shriek.
'You are making my old springs squeak.
It's bad enough to watch you fight,
I'm sure to have a very rough night.'
The light shade called, 'That's enough from you,
You need re-stuffing you silly old Moo.'
The Tele in the corner has the hump,
It's got four legs and cannot jump.
It in turn had a go at the books upon the shelves.
But they held knowledge and could defend themselves.
Even the Carpet on the floor was mad,
Its colours were the same as the Wallpaper had.
But the curtains had the best time of all,
They kept telling the windows they were having a ball.
The Clock upon the mantel-piece,
Said 'It's time I think to call the Police.'
But what do you know as I entered the room,
All was quiet as shovel kissed broom.